By Julian Dunraven, J.D., M.P.A., & Eileen McGuire Mahony
On Monday, the anniversary of the battle of Lexington and Concord, dozens of gun rights activists gathered on Gravelly Point, across the Potomac River from the Capitol. They were all openly and heavily armed, and all reeking of political breath. Their honorable purpose was to rally in support of Second Amendment rights, which the District of Columbia continually attempts to subvert. As you might imagine, only fellow gun rights supporters seemed to like the rally, while gun control advocates were alarmed despite the fact that there were no injuries, overt threats, or even so much as a single shot fired.
One of our favorite politicos sent word of the rally to “Political Breath,” and asked us to address the persuasive value of such demonstrations. Mr. Dunraven simply chuckled darkly then rang our D.C. Beauro Chief, Ms. Mahony to solicit her view of the matter. Unfortunately, her staff informed him that, upon getting the news, she had simply requested a bottle of tawny port and a bendy straw, then retired to her chambers for the day.
It is not that we oppose gun rights, mind you. Indeed, Mr. Dunraven only stopped sleeping with a pistol under his pillow when he realized he had time to take afternoon tea every day or make a daily trip to purchase a new alarm clock–but not both. Ms. Mahony, in steadfast refusal to be parted with her gun, simply gave up television after going through a few sets. She claims that the evening news was bad for her health anyway. She now spends her evenings meditating serenely to the music of Elvis.
Despite our love of the Second Amendment, however, weapons wielding rallies cause us a good deal of consternation because they have almost no persuasive value. Far from persuading others to see the value of guns, such demonstrations only alarm and inflame the opposition. Frankly, we cannot much blame them. A large group of well armed citizens angrily protesting the growth of government and vowing that they will no longer tolerate it is indeed somewhat alarming. Of course, our founders did contend that a government should fear its people and thus be kept to good behavior. Perhaps that was the goal of the rally. If so, they may still have a ways to go before our government is convinced they represent the people rather than an angry militia group.
If, on the other hand, the goal was to persuade people that Second Amendment rights are vital to our republic, we have a few suggestions. First, it is generally prudent to consider who you are trying to appeal to and what your detractors will say about you. If your detractors generally say you are a bunch of angry unhinged loons wielding dangerous weapons, it is probably best if you avoid appearing in such a manner. After all, what do you suppose someone unfamiliar with gun rights causes thinks upon seeing a large group of well armed people protesting the government? Scary unhinged loons wielding dangerous weapons. Precisely. They might even associate it with the images of Islamic fundamentalists firing their guns into the air in the Middle East. It doesn’t matter that not a single shot was fired at the rally. That is the image that pops into people’s minds.
A better option would have been to stand on the Point and call attention to the fact that no guns can get any closer than that to our Capital City. Across the river, despite the crime high rate, people must depend solely on police for protection. Then go on to cite the crime reducing and life saving effects of concealed carry laws. Give profiles of profoundly normal people who have needed their concealed carry permits to save their lives or another’s life. Wax poetically about the history and purpose of the Second Amendment. But in all ways appear normal, peaceable, and civilized. Reasonable people can appreciate and relate to such arguments. Most people do not relate to the image of walking about with a semi-automatic assault rifle strapped to one’s back. In fact, they get downright uneasy about it and tend to start calling police with terrorist sighting tips.
Thus, unless you want to add ammunition to your enemy’s store of arguments, always consider your audience. Consider what would appeal to them—not others like you who do not need convincing. And keep in mind how your opponents are likely to portray you. Try not to make it easy for them to paint you as a villain.
If you are planning on hosting a gun rights rally and absolutely must have your weapons on display, however, we suggest you throw a mock fox hunt. Not a true fox hunt of course. We quite simply adore cute little foxes and our liberal friends would go into fits of apoplexy if you actually tried killing the darling creatures. Nonetheless, garbed in the proper dashing gear and riding about on horseback trumpeting to a pack of baying hounds is the very image of refined civilization. Best of all, after all the riding about looking splendid, you get to sit down to a lovely picnic, laid out by the small army of servants that will no doubt accompany any proper fox hunt, and refresh yourself with a Bloody Mary. Why, if you pull that feat off, Ms. Mahony and Mr. Dunraven may even deign to join your protest.
